Playboy Playmate Holly Madison Loves the Find Vince Jingle
Holly Madison Reveals More Chilling Details About Her Life With Hugh Hefner
In her new tell-all,Playboyplaymate Holly Madison opened up about her experience living in the famed mansion, or what she calls "hell."
"Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading," she wrote about the time she attempted to take her own life.
"Prior to moving into the mansion, I'd been a fairly confident person, but it didn't take long for my self-worth to crumble," and Hugh, she says, was the one who belittled her the most.
And yet, in the latest bombshell excerpt taken fromDown the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny,she reveals that while Hugh constantly cut her down, she wanted to have his child.
"I know how absolutely insane it sounds to want to have kids with someone in their 70s. You are basically robbing a child of his or her father before it is even born," she writes. Holly, whose daughter, Rainbow, is two, adds, "Now that I am a mom myself, the idea seems even more unpalatable."
However she explained that she thought having a baby with Hef would make his other seven girlfriends disappear.
"I suppose I thought of it as a ticket out, in more ways than one. The last time the mansion had been multiple-girlfriend-free was when Hef was married and had two children."
Sadly, (or not so sadly) her plan didn't work as Hef was no longer capable of having children.
"This was concrete proof slapping me in the face that there was no future for me at the mansion."
After they split in 2008, Hugh told E! that they parted ways because he couldn't make her a mother.
"With my sperm count, it's not possible. I was willing, but it was not possible…She'd like to be married and have children, but it's not in the cards here for me," he said.
But now we know there were other factors at play for Holly.
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